


The Whole Shebang

by ElizabethWilde



Series: Buffy & Spike: Something More [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Pre-Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-10
Updated: 2000-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-09 01:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3231440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethWilde/pseuds/ElizabethWilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike writes Buffy a letter telling her how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Whole Shebang

**Author's Note:**

> The song used is "The Whole Shebang" by Grant Lee Buffalo

~Darlin', you can't live your life singing songs in exile   
You were born for stardom's crown and not for self-denial,  
So don't you close the door on Fate  
When she comes to call  
And tell her that you'll join her there at the masquerader's ball.  
Funny how some people never love at all...~

Well, Slayer, you had to go and ruin everything. You had to go and get drunk and tell me you liked it when we were ensorcelled and engaged. "I loved every minute," I think you said. Too much information, that.

But your eyes were so bright! Dammit, I guess now I know why Angel fell for you so easy. I see where it came from. I had always wondered. I mean, you're strong and smart and I always liked you in an 'I hate you' kind of way... but after you let me in on it, I'm starting to get these warm fuzzy feelings about you, and I really don't know what to do with them. Maybe I just miss having somebody. I miss Dru. But you're nothing like her, are you?

You've been cut off from fun for too long; your whole life, really. Angel's a big snore, that Parker was a twit to ever leave you and Riley... come, on, *Riley*? Could you possibly find someone less interesting? I doubt it. You should be out dancing every night, being wined and dined and living every second to fullest. People like you don't show up in the world too often, you know. You're something special. 

I know you're still in mourning for Angel and all, but you knew it couldn't work, what with him being all soul-having and whatnot. But lusting after him isn't gonna do you a bit of good. He's off in L.A. playing Batman now, and I don't think he's ever going to have atoned enough for his taste.

~We'll take the whole shebang,  
All or nothing, anything.  
Ecstasy's the birthright of our gang.  
We'll take the whole shebang  
Free your heart of guilt and shame,  
Come and claim what's yours, the whole shebang.~

Hell, if I'm going to be all in lust with you, we might as well both enjoy it, right? Oh, I know your friends won't like it, but I can promise you a helluva good time. A couple hundred years worth of experience isn't anything to scoff at, plus I know (please, God, don't ask me how) that Angel doesn't have anything on me in *that* department, if you know what I mean. We should both be having fun, not moping about what we don't have. Brooding doesn't do anything but give you forehead ridges. Just look at my bloody sire!

~Nothing on this earth could hold you prisoner, my dear,  
Except for contemplation's evil brother, known as fear,  
But love is extraterrestrial and love falls from the stars,  
Like Maxwell Demon's silver disc into this world of ours.~

Honest. I should be honest. Maybe I'm not in lust. Maybe all these fuzzy feelings... maybe all that stuff I said about your being smart and all... You're beautiful too. Absolutely bloody gorgeous! That was awfully abrupt. But it's true. Drusilla was beautiful in her own crazy sort of way, but you're like some kind of goddess. You look like you're so delicate I might break you if I ever held you too tight, but I know you're strong enough to snap me like a twig. Then there are those amazing, huge eyes of yours... and the body... and those pouty lips... You could really drive a bloke to drinking, Slayer.

~Kick up your heels and paint your face, wave goodbye to yesteryear;  
We could sway in outer space from the chandelier.  
Woe, sometimes it breaks my heart to hide my tears.~

Another thing: we've gotten kinda close in a way. I mean, I've been all tied up at Giles's place and you've been there a lot. Then you finally untied me. You trust me that much. It felt good when I finally figured that out. We don't hafta hide things from each other. You know I like to torture somebody every now and then... not that I can anymore... and I know that you're the Slayer. See? No secrets. No bloody sneaking around or pretending we're something we're not.

I only pretended to be disgusted by you after the spell because I thought you were. I didn't think... and I didn't think about us then. I have now. Since you said that, I've thought a lot about it. I think we could have a helluva good time. I'm not saying we're soulmates or anything, but there isn't anything wrong with having a little fling now and then. Admit it, we were pretty good together.

So give up on the idiot Initiative boy and let's drown our sorrows in each other. C'mon, luv, what can it hurt?


End file.
